“The hurrider I go, the behinder I get.”
Monday, March 17th, 2008“The hurrider I go, the behinder I get.â€
Recently I decided that the pace of my life had become much too fast. If the cause of the frantic urgency of my days was the outside world, then I reasoned that withdrawing from it would help immensely.
So, trying to regain some inner peace, I took myself to a four day silent meditation retreat. It was held at a beautiful center in North
The problem of striving for tranquility by not hearing anyone else’s conversation is that the chatter inside your own mind gets even louder! It’s downright embarrassing to hear your thoughts. And the emotions that pop into awareness are extremely childish, even selfish.
One night I was walking towards MY coveted hidden spot—a tree house high in an ancient oak. The gentle moon showed the way and I was also back-lit by an antique lantern. But meditative calm was shattered by inner urgency when I noticed a shadow of a figure approaching the tree too, in front of me and closer.
“Oh no! It’s MY special place! Must get there first!†screamed my primal competitive brain. Automatically my stride accelerated. But faster still the figure glided. And quicker and quicker—we both raced to the goal. But it got there first and merged into blackness, climbing the steps, I presumed.
So I rested and waited for it to descend and give me MY turn. But it didn’t, so I waited, but still it didn’t. So I got curious and respectfully tip-toed up the rickety stairs, peering around the corner, and discovered — no one.
The shadow I was racing against had been my own!
The problem of my life’s urgency, I discovered, did not have its origin in the outside world. It had been inside of me all along.